Grandma’s Halloween

There’s a Halloween do in our Village Hall

.I’m dressed up all witchy, no trouble at all!

I’ve dyed my hair black, and I’ve greased up my bangs.

I’m wearing a cape and some fake plastic fangs.

I’ve put on some makeup to paint my face green,

like a creature that only a nightmare has seen.

I’ve made several warts from sugared Rice Krispies

I tried a glass eye, but that’s just too risky

My fingernails, too, are all black and red.

I look like I’m recently back from the dead.

I’ll creep down the corridor muttering spells

and reeking of many mysterious smells

I’ve got a pet spider, who’s been well rehearsed

A boa constrictor and lots of fine curses

I’ve stolen a cat, a frog and a mouse

I kept them all hidden, back at my house

I’ve mugged up my Shakespeare – you know, double double

I’ve got Fairy liquid to make greenish bubbles

I’m ready to scare you, no I’m not too old

I’m as young as the stiffs in Madame Tussaud’s

This is my hour! I’ll show them I’m good

Even my broomstick is dripping with blood!

I’ll sweep through the door and cackle with glee

I’m wicked, I’m evil, I’m horrid – I’m ME

But everyone stares like I’m some kind of freak—

oh -the Halloween party’s not on till next week.